Said Baby

*Let me preface this blog post by saying, if you do not get my humor, you probably will not like this post.

So if you follow me on Facebook at all, you have probably figured out that I am expecting. Said Baby is due November 9th. The amount of time it took me to come to the decision to have children cannot adequately be covered in one blog post. But let me just note a few things to give you some perspective:

1 - Jim and I will be married 9 years this year.
2 - I am 35.
3 - I have 4 cats.
4 - I have seen a counselor since junior high school.
5 - I am mostly crazy.

I will note that Jim is very excited about Said Baby. (which probably speaks to his own level of crazy, but you already knew that since he IS married to me.) But I on the other hand, am still on the fence about the whole Said Baby "thing". I really thought I would have more time to prepare for being pregnant. I mean, I am OLD - I thought for sure getting pregnant would take a lot longer than two months.

If you aren't familiar with the baggage I have from growing up, you will have to wait for the book. In short, poverty, alcoholism and a dearth of positive parenting role models. If your own mother tells you she wishes she never had you (so that she can go out drinking), it takes a LOT of counseling to overcome the myriad of issues that this causes. Including the pervasive doubt that you should be a parent.

Needless to say, I am fairly positive I will hate being a parent. So, when people post on my Facebook wall or tell me things like, "Oh just wait! You will never sleep past 5am soon!", I want to stab them in the face. IN THE FACE. Really? What was the point of that statement? Was it to make you feel better? Or make me feel worse? Because either way, it doesn't seem helpful. I get that to normal people, this is just passing, idle conversation, which I have never really been good at anyway. But to me, statements like, "Oh you are going to Vegas? Enjoy it because you will not go on vacation again ever!" makes me want to stab them & run away.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Also? Please do not take offense that I occasionally refer to my pregnancy at the Parasite. I referred to Said Baby as the Parasite to a friend, and I think she nearly died from inhaling the wine she was drinking. But seriously, do you KNOW the definition of a parasite?! It’s exactly what a pregnancy is! And it’s not even a symbiotic parasite, as besides putting on weight, I don't get any positive benefits from the relationship. Again, if you don't get my humor, right about now you have unfriended me, and are telling your husband/wife about this completely insensitive person you know who cannot grasp the joy that carrying a child is!

I agree. I probably can't yet. Because I am not yet excited about Said Baby and what he/she will be like when he/she arrives, I don't see the happiness that will come with those changes, but am instead focused on grieving the loss of my life as I know it. (Most normal people are all SQUEE!!! A BABY!!! And therefore don't focus on the loss in their life. But as we have already established, I am not normal people.) My counselor assures me that life has a way of adjusting this when necessary so that I don’t get stabbed in the face. So far, she has been right about a lot of things, so I will have to go with her on faith on this one.

But until then, if you tell me that my life as I know it will end when the baby arrives, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Jinx

Note to self:
Do NOT EVER say you are pee-free. The very next day after my last post, we had pee. And again yesterday. I totally jinxed it. Completely perplexed as to WHY. So the cats have lost access to a couple of rooms in the house. (Although Big Mo again sprayed a closet door near the entrance to the garage, and there is no way to block him from that area, but at least its a hard surface that easy to clean.)

I do love my cats (As Mama Squeaks repeatedly walks between me and the laptop, putting her butt in my face.), but I can't figure out what else to do. My guess is that it's Roxy just getting older (she is 11 this year), and since she has never liked other cats, or people for that matter, she likes to show her displeasure by peeing on my bathroom rug. And Big Mo then needs to show he is the alpha cat in the house by peeing where he can smell her pee. Its a vicious pee cycle. Roxy should probably be an only cat in a quiet household, but here we are.

Between working and cat pee, the rest of my time is split between my hobbies (reading, scrapbooking, jewelry & card making) and my volunteer work - mainly with one local animal rescue, Orphan Animal Rescue. I am their treasurer, besides being a foster home, open hours adoption counselor & general volunteer. But as the treasurer, I can't help but stress over donations. It is amazing what we do take in, but as I am the one that knows what we need to spend on medical care and facilities, I cannot help but stress. I know $80 for a kitten or $50 for a cat may seem like a lot to an adopter, but those fees do not even come close to what it costs to get them healthy, up to date on shots, fed & warm. And save for ONE paid 15-hour a week volunteer coordinator to help keep everything running, we do it ALL with volunteers. Crazy. That's 2 AM and 2 PM cleaning volunteers, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to clean the center. Foster homes to take in sick kitties, doggies, new mamas & kittens. Event volunteers. Open hours volunteers. Fundraising volunteers. Volunteers to process adoption applications. Volunteers to write thank yous. Volunteers for special projects. Oh - and volunteer board members.

If I spend too much time thinking about how all of that magically comes together, my brain hurts. In fact, I think some leaked out of my ear just now from making sure I didn't miss anyone.

So I better get back to trying how to figure out how to increase fundraising so that all the gears can keep moving smoothly. Or possibily I should eat some pie to keep my energy up. Pie always helps.

PS - if you want to donate, our website is orphananimalrescue.org and we are also on FB. So many little ways you can donate too - even just by using GoodSearch while browsing the web, or iGive when shopping online. The kitties and doggies thank you with many purrs and kisses.